The other is a 9 month old boy who was killed in an auto accident, here is their blog: www.faulknercarpenter.blogspot.com/ I found a lot of comfort and truth in reading her words.
The last one just gives me chills because it is so unpreventable. Their 2 year old child was perfectly healthy and only had a slight fever. He went to bed and died in his sleep. Here is their website: http://www.mikerudd.com/porter/index.htm
The mother of this child posted her story on the board and it broke my heart reading it because I could relate to the fear, shock and pain on so many levels. I thought I would share her story because, for me, it is a reminder of how much we should treasure every single day with our little ones because no matter how careful we are, they can still be taken when you least expect it.
"I am sadly new to these boards, but have found some peace here knowing I am not alone. It seems that over the past few weeks, few people can truly empathize with the pain that my husband and I are experiencing after losing our only son Porter.
My son, Porter Matthew, was a vibrant and healthy two year old boy. In fact we just celebrated his second birthday on March 4, 2008. He was just getting to that age where he was curious about everything, and loved spending time with me and my husband. He was losing his babiness and becoming a child. My husband and I were both excited to see Porter each day and spend time with him. The week before Porter died we decided it was best to rearrange our schedules so we could spend more time with Porter. He had been getting up more during the night, and with the move to his new "two's classroom," we felt he may have needed some more mom and dad time. So we did. It was a great week. My husband took Porter to the park after work, or played out in the garage. I would spend more time in the mornings with Porter. We ate breakfast together, watched Sesame street together and had some time for blocks. It was really a good week.
On March 20, 2008, I got home from work and my husband said Porter had a slight fever at daycare of only 99 so they didn't bother calling us. They also mentioned that Porter didn't nap very long. My husband also mentioned when he picked Porter up he felt a bit warm. The two went home and my husband said Porter was tired so they took a nap. Porter laid on my husband's chest as he rubbed Porter's back. The two took a nap for an hour and a half. When my husband awoke he thought Porter felt a bit warm and went to change his diaper and take his temperature. He said it was 102.6 and gave him some motrin and started dinner.
When I got home around 7:10 Porter was happily eating Spaghetti in his highchair. He wanted me to pick him up, as usual, and Mike and I got him cleaned up. I recall Mike telling me Porter had a high temperature and my response was "well why didn't you take him to urgent care?" Mike said "because he's a kid with a temperature, kids get temperatures." I then replied "kids die from this kind of stuff." We then argued about what specific temperature was recommended for pediatric care and Mike said 104 degrees and I said I thought it was 101.4. I went online to check it out and Mike was right. Content with my numerous findings, we went on about our evening.
Porter was happily playing wtih cars, animals and books as if he was never feeling ill to begin with. We let Porter stay up and hour later because of his late nap. How thankful I am for that. The three of us continued to play together. We went up for bathtime around 8:40pm and Porter happliy played with his toys as my husband and I sat in the bathroom with him. Porter laughed and giggled. When we got him out he streaked through the house squealing with joy. My husband put Porter in his PJ's and put a bit of lotion on his arms and back. I read Porter three stories that night instead of just one. He just snuggled close to me as we read all the books. I put him down for bed and he gave me a big wet kiss on the cheek. I told him I loved him and said goodnight.
Around 10:40 I checked on Porter again. He didn't have a temperature and was peacefully sleeping. He stirred a bit as I shut the door. When my husband came to bed around 11:20 Porter was babbling to himself and I recall making the comment how cute it was. I was going to set my alarm for 12:30am to get up and give Porter more Motrin, but figured he would wake me up like he usually does. We both went to sleep.
The next morning I got up early for work. My husband came in and said goodbye to me and off to work he went. I was running a bit late so I got everything ready for Porter and I before I went in to get him. I got his shoes and his coat and walked into his room and told him it was time to get up. He didn't stir. I started singing to him as I pulled the clothes out of his drawer. I thought it was odd he hadn't moved. I went to his bed and removed the pillow that he likes to snuggle under, off of him. He was laying face down. His hair was messy and I ran my fingers through it. Still didn't move. My mind started thinking the worst, but I tried to brush those thoughts aside. When I picked him up he was warm, purple, stiff and lifeless. A horrible thing to experience. That moment still haunts me. I called 911 and did CPR until the fire trucks showed up. They told me Porter was gone. A true nightmare in the making.
We were later told that the autopsy was inconclusive. Porter was a completely happy and healthy boy. The ME said Porter had strains of influenza B in his lungs and nose and there have been some cases of sudden death as a result of this particlar RNA virus. She assured us there was nothing we could have done and we did what any parent would have done. She said Porter died peacefully in his sleep. She added that while another possible COD could have been sudden unexplained death in childhood, the influenza B was possiblity. Porter was given the flu vaccine, but she said that his particular strain was not included in this years shot. There have been four or five deaths in our area from this strain.
We have had such a difficult time understanding what happened with Porter. My brain still hasn't accepted what happened. It feels like a piece of me is missing and while I know it is gone logically, my brain wants to act as if it were still there. I have problems sleeping at night and feel scared because it seems as though something was "out there" and took Porter from us. I often find myself in disbelief about how terrible this is and the road to come.
Thank you for letting me share my long story."
Porter's Memorial Website
My son, Porter Matthew, was a vibrant and healthy two year old boy. In fact we just celebrated his second birthday on March 4, 2008. He was just getting to that age where he was curious about everything, and loved spending time with me and my husband. He was losing his babiness and becoming a child. My husband and I were both excited to see Porter each day and spend time with him. The week before Porter died we decided it was best to rearrange our schedules so we could spend more time with Porter. He had been getting up more during the night, and with the move to his new "two's classroom," we felt he may have needed some more mom and dad time. So we did. It was a great week. My husband took Porter to the park after work, or played out in the garage. I would spend more time in the mornings with Porter. We ate breakfast together, watched Sesame street together and had some time for blocks. It was really a good week.
On March 20, 2008, I got home from work and my husband said Porter had a slight fever at daycare of only 99 so they didn't bother calling us. They also mentioned that Porter didn't nap very long. My husband also mentioned when he picked Porter up he felt a bit warm. The two went home and my husband said Porter was tired so they took a nap. Porter laid on my husband's chest as he rubbed Porter's back. The two took a nap for an hour and a half. When my husband awoke he thought Porter felt a bit warm and went to change his diaper and take his temperature. He said it was 102.6 and gave him some motrin and started dinner.
When I got home around 7:10 Porter was happily eating Spaghetti in his highchair. He wanted me to pick him up, as usual, and Mike and I got him cleaned up. I recall Mike telling me Porter had a high temperature and my response was "well why didn't you take him to urgent care?" Mike said "because he's a kid with a temperature, kids get temperatures." I then replied "kids die from this kind of stuff." We then argued about what specific temperature was recommended for pediatric care and Mike said 104 degrees and I said I thought it was 101.4. I went online to check it out and Mike was right. Content with my numerous findings, we went on about our evening.
Porter was happily playing wtih cars, animals and books as if he was never feeling ill to begin with. We let Porter stay up and hour later because of his late nap. How thankful I am for that. The three of us continued to play together. We went up for bathtime around 8:40pm and Porter happliy played with his toys as my husband and I sat in the bathroom with him. Porter laughed and giggled. When we got him out he streaked through the house squealing with joy. My husband put Porter in his PJ's and put a bit of lotion on his arms and back. I read Porter three stories that night instead of just one. He just snuggled close to me as we read all the books. I put him down for bed and he gave me a big wet kiss on the cheek. I told him I loved him and said goodnight.
Around 10:40 I checked on Porter again. He didn't have a temperature and was peacefully sleeping. He stirred a bit as I shut the door. When my husband came to bed around 11:20 Porter was babbling to himself and I recall making the comment how cute it was. I was going to set my alarm for 12:30am to get up and give Porter more Motrin, but figured he would wake me up like he usually does. We both went to sleep.
The next morning I got up early for work. My husband came in and said goodbye to me and off to work he went. I was running a bit late so I got everything ready for Porter and I before I went in to get him. I got his shoes and his coat and walked into his room and told him it was time to get up. He didn't stir. I started singing to him as I pulled the clothes out of his drawer. I thought it was odd he hadn't moved. I went to his bed and removed the pillow that he likes to snuggle under, off of him. He was laying face down. His hair was messy and I ran my fingers through it. Still didn't move. My mind started thinking the worst, but I tried to brush those thoughts aside. When I picked him up he was warm, purple, stiff and lifeless. A horrible thing to experience. That moment still haunts me. I called 911 and did CPR until the fire trucks showed up. They told me Porter was gone. A true nightmare in the making.
We were later told that the autopsy was inconclusive. Porter was a completely happy and healthy boy. The ME said Porter had strains of influenza B in his lungs and nose and there have been some cases of sudden death as a result of this particlar RNA virus. She assured us there was nothing we could have done and we did what any parent would have done. She said Porter died peacefully in his sleep. She added that while another possible COD could have been sudden unexplained death in childhood, the influenza B was possiblity. Porter was given the flu vaccine, but she said that his particular strain was not included in this years shot. There have been four or five deaths in our area from this strain.
We have had such a difficult time understanding what happened with Porter. My brain still hasn't accepted what happened. It feels like a piece of me is missing and while I know it is gone logically, my brain wants to act as if it were still there. I have problems sleeping at night and feel scared because it seems as though something was "out there" and took Porter from us. I often find myself in disbelief about how terrible this is and the road to come.
Thank you for letting me share my long story."
Porter's Memorial Website
5 comments:
Okay...you are totally freaking me out because Maddie has been running a low-grade fever for 2 days because she appears to have a cold. All day yesterday she was constantly coughing and she barely napped. We gave her Motrin put her to bed with the vaporizer on at 7pm - an hour earlier than usual. I heard her coughing sporadically the first hour or so, but then it was quiet...not a peep all night long which was strange for a sick child. By 7am when she still wasn't awake I went in her room to find her asleep on the floor. Obviously I thought I was just being paranoid as usual since I know there are kids that go to bed with fevers and end up passing away in their sleep.
This story is just SO, SO sad, but thank you for sharing it and reaffirming to me that I am not always paranoid...these things do happen.
I had a somewhat difficult day with the kids, so this is great reminder for me to "treasure each day..." Thank you =)
so sad :(
One day at a time. Praying for one more day.
So heartbreaking. Andrew is almost two and gosh, just the thought of going to get him in the morning and finding him like that... it's enough to keep me awake at night just to watch him sleep. Like Marie says, the best we can do is pray for one more day. And be thankful for every moment. To all the mommies who have lost their babies...my prayers go out to them all. There is truly no greatler pain, no greater loss.
I read the website and story in detail and i could not even imagine. It is families like this that help keep other people aware of the dangers that are out there. Thank you for keeping Kyles website and foundation available. It has helped so many...:)
This is so terrifying, but such a strong reminder that we just cannot protect our little ones from everything, not matter the cars, or the car seats, as you say....and it is just so important to cherish every moment we have with our little ones, and may we be so lucky that we are lucky enough that to see them grow one more day at a time as Marie says.
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