Yesterday while we were out running around, we decided to stop by McDonald's to get some lunch and let the kids play. While we were there another family comes in with a little boy about 4 years old. The boy starts climbing up the playscape and gets about halfway up and gets scared and starts crying. The mom is trying to calmly tell him how to get down and the dad, a greasy looking middle aged, pot belly with a comb-over looking guy, starts yelling (standing about 2 feet away from our table) "JOSEPH, quit crying! JOSEPH Go through the tunnel! JOSEPH get down here right now! JOSEPH, look at that boy (meaning Kobe), he's younger than you and he's not scared. Quit acting like a baby!" this goes on for about 5 minutes with the dad yelling louder and meaner and the poor boy getting more and more terrified, shaking and crying "Come get me, por favor" (the mom was hispanic) with tears running down his face. It was so sad. Like yelling at him is really going to make him less scared. The mom tried to go up and get him and the dad literally pushed her back and goes "he needs to learn how to do this by himself" and then goes on to yell at the kid more. The mom would try to console the boy and he would tell her "NO" and then go back to yelling. Kevin was getting really pissed off and looked like he was about to punch the guy in the face, I told him to take Kaleb and go walk around because I didn't think a confrontation with someone like that, especially in front of our kids, was going to help things. It's not like that asshole would suddenly become a good father because someone told him off. Finally the boy gets back down and the dad grabs his arms and starts shaking him saying "Don't you EVER ask to come here again!" Pushing the kid and dragging him out by his arm, both the boy and the mom were in tears.
What is wrong with people like that?! The poor kid just needed a little reassurance and would have been fine. Instead the dad just made things 100x's worse by getting angry and yelling and turned what should have been a fun trip into a nightmare for them and everyone else in the restaurant. The look on the mom's face just broke my heart, she was obviously too frightened to stand up to him to protect her child. I just wanted to hug her and tell her that it doesn't have to be like that, she could leave that a-hole and find a much better man who would respect her and her son. She can't possibly be happy living with someone like that. Maybe she feels too scared to leave. I just wished there was something I could do to help. I just think of what their life at home must be like living with such a controlling, abusive person and feel so sad. I told Kevin after they left, "can you imagine what it must be like growing up with a father like that?" I truly can't and it breaks my heart that any child has to grow up with such a horrible person as their parent. It really makes me want to get involved with helping women and children get out of situations like that.
After they left I looked over at my amazing husband who used to actually go up and climb around in those playscape things with the kids when they were too scared to go alone (which is why they are so confident now) and felt such an enormous sense of gratitude. He is so patient and loving with our children and is such a wonderful husband and father. Next time I feel the need to complain about some stupid little thing like him forgetting to unload the dishwasher, I will remember that day and how lucky I am and not to complain about the little things that don't matter.
4 comments:
oh my gosh that is sad. my eyes teared up just reading that. we should create business cards that we could slip to them secretly so that she has someone to call and get support.
That is so awful!! I witnessed something equally as sad a couple of years ago where it was actually the mother who was being cruel to the child.
We were at a garden center and there was a family there - the mother was looking around with two children - a boy who was older and a younger girl. The father was sitting in the car. The mother was bitching at the little boy and she actually turned around to him (he was behind her) and pushed him and he fell down and hurt himself. He then went crying back to the car.
I did say something to the father, but it was because they had an old car with only lapbelts in the back and I recommended he either get car seats or EZ On Harnesses for the car (I'm sure he ignored that advice).
Terrible parenting on all fronts (the father was offering no comfort to the boy at all). I felt so sorry for those kids.
Why is there not a test before you are allowed to become a parent? I mean, we all have our days when we are tired and we may be shorter with our kids than we want to or they deserve.
So, so sad :( If this guy acted like this when he knew people were watching, just imagine how he is in the privacy of his own home. That poor boy. I feel bad for the mom...but you know, in today's day, there are places she can go!!! She needs to put her child's safety (both physical and mental) before her own fears or insecurities. Living with a father like will do damage to him.
And I'd bet the house that the father came from parents who treated him like that -- it's a cycle.
Last year when driving my daughter to middle school, there was a man in the parking lot yelling at his son. The kid was probably 12 years old, he had his backpack around his shoulder. The father was pointing his finger in his face and by the look on his face he was pretty angry. The kid's back was to their car, and the father put his arm against the kid's chest and shoved him up against the car and held him there with force -- seriously, it looked like something he'd do to an adult in a bar or something. I started honking my horn to get his attention and the other cars' attention, and the guy looked over at me, and I put up my hands and mouthed the words, "What are you doing??!!!!" and I had a very angry look on my face. The father backed off and as I drove by I eye-balled him with a disgusted look. I had to go forward in the line of cars...and when I turned back the opposite way I could see them again and they were hugging. He must have told the boy he was sorry...
Kevin is gold, for sure. Take care of him and love him forever. Both of you are wonderful parents, and I am so proud of you both.
Love,
Mom
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